Each May, Queensland marks Domestic and Family Violence Prevention Month (DFVP Month) to raise community awareness of domestic and family violence (DFV) and to send a clear message that DFV in families and homes will not be tolerated.
There has been a recent push for the government along with the private sector, community groups and individuals to all work together to help prevent domestic family violence and to adequately support those affected.
The theme this year is “All of us together”. By emphasizing this theme, it highlights the need for all levels of society to take action against DFV in order to achieve lasting cultural change. After all, whether you realise it or not, domestic family violence impacts every level of society.
If you are worried about someone, now is the time to reach out to help prevent domestic and family violence.
What can you do?
Reach out to the victim and offer them support
Let the victim know that support is available and point them in the right direction (See details below)
In the event of an emergency, if an incident of domestic violence is currently happening, if anyone is seriously injured or in immediate danger, call police on Triple Zero (000)
For all other domestic and family violence-related matters, contact Policelink on 131 444, 24 hours, 7 days a week.
If you, or someone you know, is experiencing domestic and family violence – support is available. You can contact DVConnect Womensline on 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days) or DVConnect Mensline on 1800 600 636 (9am-midnight, 7 days).
If there is an immediate danger and you fear for your, or someone else’s, safety, call Triple Zero (000) and ask for police.
When it comes to living a healthy life, we typically think of a healthy diet combined with regular exercise. This is a good start, but it is not a recipe for complete health and wellbeing.
Our mind, body and spirit are all interconnected, and when one of these areas suffers, so to do the others. For example, dealing with highly stressful situations or grief can result in physical pain or illness. It is important to realise that to maintain a healthy balance between your mind, body and spirit, you must nurture yourself holistically by meeting your mental, physical, and emotional needs.
Now you don’t need to become an expert in yoga, nor do you need to become an elite athlete or nutritionist. There are many practical things you can do to achieve overall health and wellbeing in your daily life.
Here are our “Top Tips to Cultivating a Healthier Mind, Body, and Spirit.”
(Listed in no particular order)
Get enough sleep —
Getting enough sleep is vital to overall health and wellbeing and is as essential as healthy eating and regular exercise. A lack of sleep can lead to impaired concentration, weight gain, a higher risk of heart disease and diminished physical performance. Not to mention, a decline in mental health. Make good quality sleep a priority in your life and remember, there is no age limit on napping.
Eat a healthy diet —
This is a big one. Poor nutrition leads to a wide array of physical and mental disease. To list but a few; obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease and stroke, many cancers, depression, mental fatigue…We could go on forever. The biggest problem we have today surrounding nutrition is difference of opinions of what is good for us and what is harmful. These days peer reviewed studies can be bought by the highest bidder where words can be manipulated to mislead consumers. After all, there is a lot of money in the food industry. One good way to look at the food you consume is how many ingredients are in it, the fewer the better, and how much processing it has been through. Generally, the more processed a food is, the less good it is going to be for you. By sticking to a whole foods diet, preferably organic, you are giving your body the best possible chance to thrive in the way nature intended. Keen to learn more? We recommend you take a look at the following documentary and then make up your own mind.
Get a minimum of 15 minutes of medium to fast-paced exercise daily —
Regular exercise is so important not only for your physical health and fitness, but for your mental health and fitness and the prevention of lifestyle diseases. Exercise ticks all the boxes. So, get your blood pumping, go for a walk, ride a bike, go to the gym, or take a nature walk. By making your regular exercise something you enjoy and look forward to will make it more likely for you to undertake. Don’t look at exercise as a punishment for eating that pizza, instead try to associate a feeling of positivity with it. For example, “What a beautiful day, I can’t wait to finish work and go for a ride and feel the breeze on my face”.
Meditate regularly —
OK before you roll your eyes, let me explain. Meditation does NOT mean you need to be able to tie your legs into knots, levitate off the floor or to stop your mind from thinking. I have heard so many people say to me that, no matter how hard they try, they can’t meditate. Meditation is not something that needs to be forced, nor does it have a particular destination. It is way simpler than the gurus will have you believe. You can do it sitting in a comfortable chair, lying down, you can even do a micro-meditation at the traffic lights. The idea is to ground yourself in the present moment, and the best way to begin is to bring your attention to your breath. Focus on your in breath, feel it pass your nostrils down into your diaphragm, hold it for a few seconds and release it slowly. As you breathe bring your attention to how it feels. Once you feel calm just breathe normally. As you relax, it is normal for thoughts to come into your mind, thoughts of the day’s work, finances, or a conversation you had. It’s ok if this happens, and it doesn’t mean you have failed. As a thought comes into your mind, try labelling it. For example, say to yourself “OK, that thought is about my rent being due.” Then gently unhook yourself from that thought and let it go…you can deal with it later. This time is for you. Allow thoughts to enter your mind without trying to stop them and simply recognise that they are a thought, gently unhook yourself, and let it go. This takes practice, but I assure you, it does come, even to the point where you can easily slip in and out of this state without specifically meditating. If you find yourself going down a rabbit hole, attached to a thought, and you will, that’s ok just recognise it let it go and return to your breath to ground yourself again in the present moment. Regular meditation, even 15 minutes a day, will have a profoundly positive impact on your overall health and will help to relieve symptoms of anxiety, depression and promote emotional and mental health. There is a huge number of guided meditations available on YouTube which can help get you started. A couple of our personal favourites to get you started include Max Strom highlighting the importance of breathwork in meditation (a great place to start or build your understanding) and you can catch Hayley here demonstrating her favourite breathwork activity. For those ready to jump right in here is a beginners meditation track you could try too.
Read more/learn more —
Nourish your mind by reading more books, watching documentaries, participating in online classes or even learn a new skill in workshops. Just as it is important to nourish your body with high quality food, so is it equally important to nourish the mind with high quality information and tasks. Our journey of learning should not end when we leave school, in fact, we should strive to continuously learn throughout our lives.
Volunteer your time and skills/knowledge —
Use your own special abilities to do some good in the world. Donate some time to a charity, start a blog or online community. Helping others is great way to feel connected in our daily life. This connectedness brings about a feeling of self-worth which can be incredibly beneficial to helping to overcome feelings of depression and anxiety. It’s a win for everyone.
Attitude of Gratitude —
Practicing gratitude daily is a great way to nurture your spirit. Start your day off by bringing to mind the things you are grateful for. Things like friends and family, good health, pets or simpler things like food, shelter, running water, nature. It is believed that you can’t be depressed while you are in a state of appreciation. Practicing being in a state of gratitude regularly helps for it to become a go to state of being and can go a long way to alleviating depressive feelings. Remember, practice leads to better practices.
Practice kindness-to others and yourself —
Being kind has many great benefits which can flow on to the wider community. Not only does being kind make others feel good but can also make you feel good too. It can help to create a sense of belonging and contributes to making the world a happier place. Some ways you can practice kindness to others may be checking in with a neighbour who might be isolated or lonely, call a friend or family member that you may not have spoken to for a while or tell someone how much they mean to you. Ways of showing kindness to yourself may start with following this list, treating yourself to some personal time or clearing away that to do list that is nagging in the back of your mind.
Let go of the things that no longer serve you —
Too often we carry around the past with us. Acknowledge things that have happened for what they are, and if there is nothing more you can do to change situations for the better, let it go. If it doesn’t matter tomorrow, then don’t let it ruin today.
Remove toxicity from your life —
We hear the word ‘toxic’ thrown around a lot these days but what does it really mean. When something is toxic it can be defined as very harmful or unpleasant in a pervasive or insidious way. Ultimately, anything toxic is detrimental to our health and wellbeing. Some sources of toxicity in our lives could be in our diets – preservatives, pesticides, chemicals, animal fats and proteins etc., relationships, environmental – air, noise or chemical pollution, social media or media content. We can’t always remove all forms of toxicity from our lives, for example, a toxic relative, but we can limit our exposure and protect ourselves when we do come in contact. However, by limiting our exposure to and removing as many sources of toxicity from our lives will have an incredibly positive effect on our overall health and wellbeing.
With a little bit of attention towards our own self-care we can dramatically improve our lives. Remember your health is more than just your physical health.
If you want to be truly healthy, you must nurture your health holistically – mind, body and spirit.
This week I wanted to talk with you about managing unnecessary stress and how it is different from the normal stresses that come with everyday life.
There is no doubt that in these unprecedented times we all have so much to deal with. Now more than ever it is important to give yourself permission to be released from the external noise and focus as often as possible on self-care.
So what is unnecessary stress? Simply defined, unnecessary stress is the stress that is brought into your life that is not yours to carry and certainly not yours to solve. People, systems, external entities, and unhealthy habits that we form within ourselves can all cause unnecessary stress.
These unnecessary stresses only serve to add to the already difficult task of navigating through our day-to-day lives.
Life, in normal circumstances, is stressful enough. It takes a lot of energy to juggle so many things at once, work, relationships, finances and so on and it can leave us feeling anxious and exhausted. Just like we prioritise certain aspects of our lives, so is the need for us to prioritise which stresses we can afford to take on physically and emotionally. Taking on too much will almost certainly leave you frayed and burnt out.
Learn to identify external stresses, such as the news, social media, friends and family or colleagues. You don’t have to take on everyone’s problems. Sure you can listen, offer advice or even help others but don’t live there. At least not without taking time to tend to your own wellbeing.
It is important to set some boundaries with respect to things that may disrupt your life so you can practice self-care. Give yourself permission to say “no” to those things that are going to drain you of your precious energy, time and resources and build healthy practices to make sure you are not overstretching yourself.
Turn the television off during meals.
Meet with friends or family members when a time is mutually suitable.
Allocate certain times to engage with social media, then disengage after.
Wake up a little earlier each morning to ensure you don’t have to rush or risk being late.
Declutter your home or office.
Try to stop rehashing stressful situations or focusing on worst-case scenarios.
Allocate some “me-time” every day to reflect, exercise, paint, get out in the garden or whatever it is that makes your heart sing.
Eat healthy foods and get some exercise every day.
If you are feeling burnt out, stressed, or anxious, I would encourage you to take a moment this week to look at your life and see where unnecessary stress has crept in, and know that you can always set boundaries in place and show it the door.
How will you begin to limit unnecessary stress in your life?
Resilience is a word that’s been thrown around a lot lately, mostly by the media and politicians. During times of crisis, we often hear politicians placating us by saying “Australians are so resilient” in the hopes that we all don’t just fall into the abyss and leave them with the job of fixing everything. So, what is resilience and how do we become more resilient in our lives?
The Oxford dictionary defines resilience as “the ability of people or things to recover quickly after something unpleasant, such as shock, injury, etc.”, but what does that mean?
Unlike people, when it comes to objects, resilience is the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity. This is where the term “to bounce back” comes from. It is similar in a way for people whereas when a person becomes resilient, he or she is able to mentally or emotionally cope with a crisis or return to pre-crisis status. Resiliency occurs when the person uses physical and mental processes and behaviours to protect themselves from potentially negative outcomes.
It is a common misconception that resilient people are unaffected by a crisis. That they are somehow naturally tougher or more “thick-skinned” than the rest of us. However; this is not the case at all. Any individual can learn and develop resilience through certain actions, thoughts, and behaviours. To understand this we need to take a look at what it is these people do to build resilience in their lives.
Our lives are filled with trauma, adversity, and other stresses. Here’s how you can cope with them effectively and emerge even stronger than you were before.
Imagine you were going on a boat trip during rough weather. The weather report says you may encounter large swells, high winds and rain. What would you do to ensure a safe trip?
You might use a larger boat to cope with the increased swell. You would ensure that you had all the safety equipment you need such as life jackets, a radio and an EPERB, along with drinking water and food. Although your journey would be rough, with the right tools and supports in place, you would not only make it safely through your journey, you would emerge a more confident and skilled boat person.
You can increase your resilience to weather difficulties and grow from them by using these strategies.
Support Network Prioritising our relationships by connecting with caring and understanding people can significantly bolster our resilience. It is common for people going through difficult times to feel isolated or to self-isolate. It is important in these times to seek help and connection with others, even if it is just to sit and talk. Make plans to spend time on a regular basis with loved ones. Joining a group or taking part in charity or volunteer work can also help to build ongoing and long-lasting friendships.
Health Self-care is not just a popular buzzword but an essential component to building resilience. The effects of stress are as much physical as they are emotional. Therefore; we need to keep both our physical and mental health in tip-top condition. Eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, exercise regularly, practice mindfulness activities such as meditation or yoga and avoid as much as possible alcohol, drugs and other substances. Building resilience doesn’t come from sweeping your problems under the carpet nor by masking them with substance abuse.
Positive mindset Having a positive mindset does not mean that you go through life being disconnected from reality or living in denial, instead it is about viewing the world through a different lens. Just like it takes work to strengthen muscles, so does it take practice to build a strong mind. It comes naturally for humans to focus on the negative, after all that is where the danger lies and our survival instincts teach us to keep a close eye on danger. These days, however, we are no longer being hunted by sabre-toothed tigers but our evolved survival instincts are still very much intact.
Try to keep things in perspective. The tendency to catastrophise every little thing that goes wrong can dramatically affect the way we feel mentally and physically and can even lead to us being in a perpetual state of fight or flight. Even though you cannot change a highly stressful event, you can change your interpretation and response to it. Accept that change is a normal part of life and try to look forward to the new and exciting circumstances that change brings. Try to shift your focus towards the outcomes or things that you want, that bring you joy, rather than continuously focusing on the negative. When something bad happens, understand that the sooner you take steps to overcome it and shift your focus away from it, the sooner you can move on.
Mistakes = Progress Unfortunately, it has been commonplace in past generations to raise children with the carrot and stick approach, usually with much more focus on the stick. If a child did something wrong it got the stick. Not only does this teach them to focus completely on the negative, they learn that making mistakes is not accepted by society. (In a child’s mind, society is their family and it widens from there as they grow). We need to retrain our minds to view mistakes as an opportunity to grow and to become better/stronger rather than seeing ourselves as a failure. This is a tough one and a serious issue that many people struggle with daily. Fear of failure can be so powerful that some will go to great lengths to avoid trying something new just in case they mess it up even though it is incredibly rare for people to perfect anything the first time they try it. Remember, making mistakes is a normal and crucial part of the learning process.
Being resilient does not mean that sometimes we are not overwhelmed by what we are facing and is not a personality trait that only a select few possess. Just like building muscle, improving your resilience takes time and intent.
If you or someone you know needs help, please reach out. Here is a short list of help organisations:
Guys, it’s OK to not be OK…It’s about time we change the idea that all men need to put on a brave front just to be considered “a man”.
We need to learn to look past the “one size fits all” mentality when it comes to categorising human behaviour. The “Stoic” stereotype just isn’t working.
Forcing yourself to change your personality just to fit social norms has been proven to elevate feelings of anxiety, stress, depression and low self-esteem. After all, we’re told to be ourselves, right? Wrong.
For far too long being a man has required a perceived identity displaying masculinity, bravery and stoicism. Instilled into many boys at a young age are concepts of masculinity in the form of remarks such as, “boys don’t cry” or “you’re acting like a girl”.
But not all men, or women for that matter, are the same (and wouldn’t the world be boring if we were!). Sure, some men ride bulls, play contact sports and drink beer with the guys. Does that make them any more of “a man” than a guy who prefers the arts, reading or being alone?
According to marketing and societal norms, it does, but we all know better so, why is this still the case? As an inclusive society, we can and must do better.
According to Beyond Blue every day nine Australians take their own lives and seven of those are men. Every day!
Gotcha4Life mental fitness foundation founder and part of the team behind the Boys Do Cry campaign, Gus Worland says, “Trying to live up to this blokey stereotype of “She’ll be right mate”, and man up and shut up has got us to where we are today… As men, we typically spend way too much time with this mask on, making out that everything is fantastic when it’s simply not. And it’s just not working.”
Unfortunately, far too many Aussie men (and women for that matter) find it difficult to ask for help.
Trying to live up to the stereotypes of masculinity has come at a high cost with male suicide reaching epidemic levels. A clear sign of this comes in the form of these alarming statistics: Suicide is the leading cause of death for men aged 15-49, while the number of men who take their own lives each year is nearly double that of the national road toll.
Despite these numbers being so high, according to the Queensland Suicide Register in 2019 (pre-Covid 19) only 44.4 percent of men who passed away from suicide had been diagnosed with a mental health disorder. It’s a sobering statistic stating that less than half of the men who suffered so terribly so as to take their own lives had sought or received adequate professional care. Around 20 percent of men will suffer from some form of mental illness such as anxiety or depression, yet only a small amount of them will seek help. This article by Amanda Lyons for NewsGP states that Dr. James Antoniadis, a GP and psychodynamic psychotherapist, has seen many of his male patients experience problems as a result of their efforts to fit into masculine stereotypes.
“In Australia, the cultural paradigm is of the stoic farmer who works the land and never complains, cuts his hand with a chainsaw and just wraps it up and keeps working. It’s very much a “get on with it” sort of masculine ideal,” he said.
“But the downside is that those men, in times of emotional difficulty, haven’t got the ability or even the words to think through their emotional problems.”
Dr Antoniadis believes men’s efforts to conform to such cultural ideals often leads to an inability to even recognise their feelings in the first place.
“In order to not show your emotions, it’s more effective if you can deny them, even to yourself,” he said. “As a result, you get men who can’t speak or think about their emotions – instead, they feel unwell or that something is not right.”
This is an issue that affects every level of society and is not just the problem of the men experiencing it. Our goal as a progressive community should be to create a society where men feel safe to express emotion without being stripped of their manliness by the perceptions of a few. Encouraged to experience the full spectrum of life as a man in a safe and supported way.
We need to teach our boys right from the get-go that it’s ok to display emotions and we urgently need to reinforce this in our men. It’s ok to cry, it’s ok to ask for help, it’s ok to be vulnerable, in fact, being vulnerable is an incredible act of bravery that far outstrips silence.
“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.” —Brene Brown—
The Team here loves and highly recommends Brene Brown’s show “Call to Courage” available via Netflix!
If you or someone you know needs help, please reach out. Here is a short list of men’s help organisations:
Let’s swap “screen time” for “green time” these school holidays. The Christmas school holidays are here again and it’s time to reduce the kid’s screentime and get them out into the fresh air.
These days, kids spend a lot more time inside than most of us did at the same age.
With the rise of technology in recent decades, we have witnessed a shift in the way that people, especially young people, are spending their spare time. Gone are the days of having one television set with four channels and one telephone stuck to the wall in a central position of the house.
These days many households have a tv in every room with a variety of streaming services enticing us to binge-watch every chance we get. Even more sinister is the screen that goes everywhere with us.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-technology by any stretch, I love tinkering with the latest gadgets and I understand the incredible benefits and convenience it has brought to our lives but I also love going to the beach, swimming, gardening, camping and a long list of other activities.
Technology is not evil…we just need to find some balance between “screen time” and “green time” especially for young people.
In Australia, it is recommended that children have no more than 2 hours of screen time per day but these days most kids spend on average 3 hours on top of the screen time at school and anywhere up to 7 hours.
As a result young people are spending less time outdoors and more time in front of a screen. This may be having a detrimental effect on their physical and mental health and well-being.
According to a peer-reviewed journal published September 4, 2020, ” High levels of screen time appeared to be associated with unfavourable psychological outcomes while green time appeared to be associated with favourable psychological outcomes.”(Read the full article)
Many of us will remember spending our school holidays out riding a bike with our friends, playing cricket, swimming, building cubby houses, exploring and the list goes on. We knew that if we hung around the house eventually mum or dad would find jobs for us to do. So after breakfast, we were out of there all the while adhering to the universal rule of making sure you’re home when the street lights come on.
It’s sad to see the kids of today missing out on this simple but fundamentally important part of their development.
However, all is not lost. Although there have been major changes in the way children are living their lives, most kids when they actually get off the couch and go outside, find that they are pleasantly surprised.
Spending time outdoors is enjoyable but it’s also essential. Many experts agree that children who spend more time playing outdoors are happier, have higher levels of self-confidence, experience lower levels of anxiety and are generally healthier than those who choose to spend most of their time indoors.
Playing outdoors in a less structured environment teaches children to navigate their own way through the world, deciding on how they interact with nature. This helps to build an awareness of their physical capabilities while encouraging imagination and creativity.
Being outside also brings with it a sense of responsibility as there are very real consequences for their actions. For example, if they are looking after a garden, they learn that if they neglect its needs it will suffer.
Outside play is a great way for kids to get moving. No matter what they are doing it’s likely to be more active than sitting on a couch and can be especially beneficial for children with ADHD or depression. It also helps kids to feel less stressed. So, although screen time is the easier and more popular choice, it’s important to make time to get outside and see the world first-hand.
Living in Queensland, this could not be easier. We have it all here, some of the world’s most beautiful beaches, rainforests, freshwater swimming holes, islands to visit, and an abundance of wildlife, mountains and nature walks to explore. Most of all, we have the perfect climate for kids to get out and get active.
Life has never been busier for parents, many families with both parents working or families with working single parents and too often children are being left to their electronic devices as a result. It’s tough to balance work and life these days but we can’t let that be the reason our children don’t get to experience real-life outside of the home.
It’s up to us adults, from days gone by, to show the kids what this life has to offer. Teach them that the world is not how it is seen through a lens. That the beach isn’t a place to fear but a place to respect and enjoy. It is our responsibility to make sure our kids have the skills and confidence to engage with the natural world and most of all, learn to love it. After all, how can we expect them to take care of the natural world without loving it?
We too will benefit from putting our devices down more often and spending some quality time outdoors with our kids, our friends and our families. Remember, it’s not just fun — it’s necessary.
We are not victims of change, we are the creators of it.
Is there a link between trauma and chronic illness? By now most of us have heard about PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), or PTS as I prefer, because more times than not these responses are a natural consequence of our traumatic or adverse experience/s.
When we think of PTSD, our minds usually go to ex-military personnel or emergency workers. Although these people are certainly prone to experiencing PTS, it is an affliction that can impact anyone who has experienced significant trauma or adverse circumstances, especially during, but not limited to childhood.
A good definition of PTSD is as follows:
“an anxiety disorder initiated by an exposure to a discrete traumatic event that has generally occurred in the past… and is characterised by symptoms such as re-experiencing (flashbacks), cognitive or behavioural avoidance of reminders of the event, and physiological hyperarousal”.
Edmondson, 2014.
Trauma, toxic stress and PTSD have now been directly linked to several types of chronic illnesses, including heart disease, type 2 diabetes, autoimmune disorders like rheumatoid arthritis and lupus, chronic pain, digestive conditions like irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), and fibromyalgia.4 Sept 2019 How Are Chronic Illness and Trauma Related? | The Mighty.
When we experience stress, our brain communicates with our body, activating the release of adrenaline and cortisol into our system, preparing us for fight or flight. This is great when we encounter something that threatens our safety, such as a wild animal, enabling us to fight the risk or to run away from it. But what happens when that metaphorical wild animal comes into the home every day, every hour or even every minute for some people?
Recurrent exposure to stress hormones can have a seriously detrimental effect on our physiology. Children are especially sensitive to being subjected to repeated stress activation, resulting in a long list of illnesses from cancer to ADHD and leading to a dramatically decreased life expectancy of up to 20 years.
The link between childhood trauma and chronic illness has been well documented, and rather than bore you to death will all the specifics, instead I urge you to check out this brilliant Ted Talk by Dr Nadine Burke Harris, Paediatrician.
What can you do to help make your Christmas less stressful? The Christmas season is approaching again and for some, this is their favourite time of year. A time filled with joy, love, peace, family, friends, laughter, good food and great memories. However, for some, it is a time of year that brings stress, anxiety, frustration, sadness, financial strain, over-eating and drinking and loneliness.
Many people find the Christmas season, or silly season as some refer to it, to be very stressful and just down right exhausting. There’s the shopping in crowded shopping centres, the relentless marketing surrounding us with messages of how we should be, the cooking, the cleaning, work commitments and parties.
There’s the anxiety of choosing the right gifts and the fear of getting it wrong, family expectations and the fear of being judged with thoughts of “Will they notice that I’ve gained weight?” or “I can’t afford a new outfit or an expensive gift this year.”
Maybe there’s been a falling out with a certain family member that has not yet been resolved, and the thought of facing that person on a day where everyone is expected to “play nice” is almost inconceivable.
Expectations and pressure are high this time of year, and many of us can feel pressured to do what we think others “want”, like feeling the pressure to over eat or to drink alcohol, and of course for some there is almost always the expectation to be in two places at once.
Pleasing everyone is not always possible. In fact, it rarely is.
The stress generated this time of year can be overwhelming, in fact, some people rate Christmas as more stressful than divorce or moving house and this is why it may be a good idea to arm ourselves with some new strategies to help manage some of the stress and anxiety. After all, we want to enjoy Christmas too, right?
The team here at Kite Consulting have come up with a few tips which will hopefully ease the tension this Christmas.
Make sure you get plenty of sleep. This goes without saying, but we also often overlook it. We need to get enough sleep to refresh our body and mind. Less than six hours of sleep per night over an extended period can be harmful to our health by causing a rise in cortisol levels. An increase in cortisol levels places the body and mind under great stress and can increase levels of anxiety. Wherever possible, try to keep a regular and healthy sleep routine and sneak a nap in when you can, while trying to avoid a food coma! This will keep you feeling ready to face each day. Remember, if you feel like you need time out, take it.
Use your head when it comes to what you eat. It’s easy to get caught up in the season and to splurge on all of the food choices. It’s fine to indulge, just use your head and try not to over-indulge. After all, if you eat too much rubbish you’re going to feel rubbish. Try sampling instead of over-indulging this season, you’ll be glad you did.
Be mindful of what you drink. Ah the infamous Christmas cheer, as it is so often called. Having a couple of sips with friends and family this time of year can definitely be a lot of fun, but it can easily get out of hand. I think we are all aware of the physical damage excessive alcohol consumption or binge drinking can cause but there is another side also. When the body is under stress, so is the mind. These are not separate things. Excess sugar and alcohol absolutely punishes the nervous system which can agitate symptoms of anxiety. Not to mention that alcohol is a depressant and can adversely effect those suffering from depression or anxiety. Enjoy your Christmas spirit in moderation and you won’t have to endure unnecessary added stress.
We are also aware that a lot of pressure is placed on people this time of year to drink. This is not ok and it is not the behaviour of a considerate friend or family member. People need to be able to say no to alcohol without being treated as an outcast or ridiculed. There can be a number of reasons that some of us choose not to drink. Let it go and allow everyone to enjoy the season in their own way. It’s ok to say no.
Have a secret Santa this year instead. This is one of our favourites. Instead of buying a gift for everyone this year, maybe your family and friends can do a secret Santa instead. Put all members names in a hat, choose one each and keep it a secret. Set a price limit and everyone is tasked with buying one thoughtful gift for the person they chose. Just place all the gifts under the tree with an anonymous name tag attached. (having these names printed out on stickers with the same font helps to keep the secret). Also consider giving experiences, like dining or spa vouchers, over stuff…After all, it’s one less thing that ends up in landfill eventually.
Agree that presence is the best present. With all that we have going on in our lives, especially in the past couple of years, scraping together the spare cash to buy gifts just isn’t possible for everyone. Talk to your family and close friends and discuss having a catch up at a time that is suitable for everyone instead of gifts this year. If you can afford great gifts, just spare a thought for those that can’t and be aware that they may be feeling uncomfortable. Let’s be real, unless your a child, then the gifts take second place to the company of our loved ones. Get something small for the kids perhaps, but take the pressure of gifting out of the Christmas season. Let’s consider de-commercialising it and make it about family again. The discussion around not having gifts at Christmas may be a bit awkward at first, once you become more comfortable in explaining your position, people will most likely become very understanding. No matter what your family tradition, it can evolve like most things do. Being present in the lives of those we love is the greatest gift of all.
Check in with yourself as much as possible. If you’re tired, rest. Eat consciously and modestly. Don’t max out your credit card just because of expectations, real or imagined. Get plenty of sleep, exercise regularly and most of all, make yourself a priority. If you need time out, take it. Be mindful of others and take notice of the beauty that is all around you. Be grateful for what you have and for what you have to offer.
This can be a tough time of year for many, but with a bit of forethought and a strategy of self-care, it can eventually become a time to enjoy.
From all of us here at Kite Consulting, we sincerely hope you give yourself, and those you love, the gift of peace this Christmas.
